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Take the Long Way HomeBy Ta Mi Li Title: Take the Long Way Home "That's pretty dangerous, you know." Zhao turned in surprise to a bored looking youth in a parka standing on the walkway behind him. Zhao ignored him and turned back to concentrating on heating the ice walkway enough to turn the surface slick. "If you make the walkway slippery someone is going to fall into the canal, or drop their shopping." "That's the point, you disgusting peasant," growled Zhao and he bent all his will on warming the ice. "Ah. Well, carry on then." Zhao worked on in silence for a few minutes then stopped. "Look, do you mind? It's hard enough to concentrate on this without you star... You can see me?" "Hm, looks like." "No, I mean really see me, not just a ghostly flame?" "If you're asking if I see a middle-aged guy in a Fire Nation uniform, then okay, I can see you." He tilted his head to one side then the other, "You don't have any feet." "That's beside the point! If you can see me then you can help me!" Zhao smiled his most winning smile. "Nah. I have to finish shopping. Later." "Wha- WAIT! I COMMAND YOU TO COME BACK HERE!" "Shopping! Bye!" Zhao roared and wailed and found that at the very least his temper had melted
the spot on the walkway into a lovely piece of slippery ice. Still muttering
threats under his breath he hid around a corner and waited for someone to
walk into his trap. "So, do you only haunt this one area?" The bored youth from the day before sat down beside Zhao and took a big bite out of some sort of steaming meat pie. He noted the hungry way Zhao was staring at his food, "I'd offer you a bite but I think it's not going to do anything for you." "Shut up, peasant! You have no idea what I am capable of!" "Hm, well, I know you're capable of melting a bit of ice. That patch looks pretty slick." Zhao found himself straightening up with pride before he realized he was being mocked. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM," he shouted at the boy. "I AM ADMIRAL ZHAO THE MOONSLAYER!" "I'm Tip. You didn't slay the moon." "I DID TOO!" "Yeah, okay, then what's that in the sky?" "IT GOT BETTER!" "I see. Very interesting." Tip shoveled the last bit of pie into his mouth and licked his fingers clean. "Look, I can see you're in a bit of a bad mood so I'll come back later." "NO WAIT! I COMMAND YOU!" "Bad mood. Bye!" That evening pedestrians avoided the section of walkway that mysteriously steamed well into the night. ----------------------- "DON'T RUN AWAY AGAIN!" Zhao suddenly leaping out of a wall and yelled at Tip, who was taken aback. "Don't yell! I'm right here!" "Yes, well, it's been a while and I didn't want you to leave before I told you about my plan." Zhao coughed uncomfortably into his fist and avoided meeting Tip's eyes. "A plan?" "Yes, a plan to escape this hellish prison and reclaim my rightful place in the Fire Nation!" "Oh, the plan that won't work." Tip adjusted the sack of blubber he was carrying slung on his back. "As far as I know, a ghost is bound to the place of its death." "Ah!" Zhao's predatory smile startled Tip again, "But this ISN'T the place of my death! This is the place where I chose to die! Who knows where that damned ocean spirit had dragged me off to when had I actually died." "Yup, that's fascinating. Look, this blubber is heavy and I've got to get it to the dock, okay? Okay." Tip carefully walked around the wet patch on the walkway before he gave Zhao a little wave, "Good job on this slick bit, by the way! Keep up the good work!" "BUT I NEVER TOLD YOU MY PLAN!" "Blubber heavy! Bye!" "I can't believe it, finally someone can see me and hear me and he's a jerk." ---------------------- "And he says he's a Captain or something in the Fire Nation, pretty weird, eh?" Zhao stopped his endless pacing and hung for a moment in the air, listening. "He's sort of rude but he seems harmless enough." "Oooh, a real fire bender ghost! This is so exciting!" The first voice was Tip's but the second voice was a girl's... "WHAT IS GOING ON? WHO IS THIS? I'M NOT HARMLESS!" "Helloooo ghost, are you here? Is he here, Tip? I can't see him!" Tip cleaned out an ear with a mittened finger and grinned at Zhao, "Yeah, he's here. He just yelled at me again." "WHO IS SHE? WHY IS SHE HERE WITH YOU?" Zhao wished he could produce a fireball like he could when he was alive. "Yonna, sweetie, this is Zhoo, the ghost I was talking about. Zhoo, this is my girlfriend Yonna!" "MY NAME IS ADMIRAL ZHAO THE MOONSLAY... er.. IS THIS A DATE?! Did you just bring your DATE here?" Zhao deflated and looked incredulous. Tip shrugged, "Yeah, it's a date. So what? Yonna was curious about you, is that a crime?" "Oh, Tip! It felt warmer suddenly, was THAT the ghost?" Tip smiled and leaned in close to breath on Yanno's ear, "No baby, that was me." She giggled and snuggled in closer to him. "I wish I was alive, so I could kill myself," Zhao groaned. When it became apparent Tip was engrossed in kissing Yonna, Zhao decided to exit wall left. --------------------- "Hey, Zhoo! You here?" Zhao ignored Tip's call, sulking beneath an eave. "I'm leaving and I thought you might want to hitch a ride to the Fire Nation" "What?" Despite himself Zhao was at Tip's side in a flash of ghostly flame. "Are you finally ready to listen to my plan?" Tip fiddled with his pocket and pulled something out of his pocket. Zhao immediately felt a strange pull towards the object. "We don't need a plan, I found this lodged in the canal wall. I remembered you saying you didn't die here so I looked around for something that might be tying you to this spot; I think it's a.. hmm, I don't know what it is! But it definitely looks Fire Nation." Tip opened his hand wide revealing a cylinder of metal with an ornate carving on one end. "It's my seal." "Do you mean turtle-seal?" Tip examined it as if he were seeing it for the first time. "No! It's my seal, the mark I make that means I am me." Zhao saw he was neither understood nor respected for having a personal seal so he let it drop. "It's fitting I should haunt this." "If you say so. So, do you want to leave? Yonna and I are packed and ready to go." "Where are you going that it takes you near the Fire Nation?" It was ridiculous but Zhao felt nervous with Tip holding his seal. What if he dropped it en route and he was forced to haunt the ocean floor? An eternity underwater would be torture unimaginable. "Oh, I live at the South Pole. I just came here to learn water bending and to find a bride. Between you and me, the girls in the South are a little too much like family for my taste." Zhao refrained from pointing out there was nothing wrong with marrying family as long as there were no direct blood bonds but he doubted Water Tribe peasants had the same marriage duties as Fire Nation nobility. "Yes. More than anything I want to be back in the Fire Nation where I am respected. Take me with you." ------------- Zhao had never been so terrified in his life OR his afterlife. Water Tribe
boats were rickety, poorly constructed, and entirely reliant on capricious
wind and wave for movement! He would have given quite a lot to be on a secure,
coal-powered "Listen, Zhoo, I can't talk to you when I'm working the ropes AND trying to keep the waves working with us, okay?" "I just need to know! Is it safe?" "It's in my parka, don't worry!" "Right." Zhao floated above the crew and anxiously watched them fight wind and wave to keep their sails aligned. Waves sloshed over the side of the boat and soaked them all to the skin despite their heavy clothes. A large wave crashed into the side of the ship and suddenly Zhao found himself pulled out to sea. He frantically scanned the swelling sea for a sign of his seal and saw Tip’s head break the surface of the water. Zhao immediately rushed over and hovered next to him. “MORON! IF YOU DROWN WE’LL BOTH HAUNT THE OCEAN FLOOR FOR ETERNITY!” Tip ignored Zhao in favor of trying to tread water. “Augh! Look, I didn’t mean to yell at you! Don’t ignore me!” Tip dipped beneath the water again and came up sputtering. He tried to yell for help but his cry was carried off by the wind in the opposite direction of the ship. “Pathetic,” Zhao fumed. “HEY! You’re a water bender! Bend yourself to safety!” The look Tip gave Zhao spoke volumes. “Or you can’t which is why you’re drowning.” Privately, Zhao thought it was stupid for a water bender to drown but he didn’t say it out loud in case Tip went under just to spite him. “Well, what am I supposed to do? You’re the only one who can hear me or see me!” No wait! That wasn’t entirely true, was it? Tip could see him as a man but everyone else saw him as a pale blue flame… Another man would have had to build up his anger but Zhao, famed for his temper, just relaxed into his rage and felt it burn out of his control. He raged against the waves and wind, he roared the injustice of his afterlife, and he let every past anger and annoyance rise to the surface until he was volcanic. Aboard the Water Tribe ship, mittened fingers pointed to the column of blue fire that shot up over the waves to touch the sky and frantic orders were given to try to turn the ship around. Tip smiled up at the incandescent figure storming above his head. "Is there somewhere I can drop you off or send your seal to?" Zhao wanted to reply confidently that he could be delivered to the Imperial Palace but... with Zuko as Firelord Zhao wasn't sure he would be welcome; even if he were dead. "Give me a moment to think, there are so many options and I want to select the right one.” Tip poked through a pile of cheap bracelets, apparently looking for a bauble for Yonna, while he waited for Zhao to make up his mind. They’d docked at a small Fire Nation port early in the morning and the crew was taking the opportunity to stock up on supplies for the ship and exotic gifts for the family and friends waiting for them at the South Pole. Tip handed over a coin in exchange for two sticks of meat grilled and spiced hot enough to melt ice and regarded Zhao, who was still lost in thought; “You know you don’t have to make a decision right now.” “Oh really?” Zhao tried to remain aloof but he was a bit worried. Did he really have so many enemies and so few friends? He couldn’t think of a single person he’d trust with his seal. “Well,” Tip drawled it out a bit while he sucked on a spicy stick; “I suppose you could stay with me while you think of a good place to settle down.” Zhao stared at Tip like he’d grown a second head. “I know it’s an inconvenience for you…” “Yes, it is really.” Zhao looked down his nose at Tip; the only person who could see and hear him... Zhao reconsidered his options. “But if I must, I must. Try not to offend me daily with your barbaric Water Tribe ways.” Tip smiled and patted the breast pocket of his parka, “I’ll try to.” They argued all the way back to the ship. --------------------------
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